i'm going to be honest, i probably should've seen this coming.
this shit was inevitable. never any point in pretending it wasn't. you were always going to leave me for some stupid, shitty reason. everyone's gonna ditch me someday. it's not something i should fucking care about because that's life. no one should care about that. especially a fucking man.
so why do i feel so fucking bad for it???
am i just like, a bad person??? all i've done is fucking express myself even if people don't like those parts of me. did i do it wrong somehow? do i just like, not understand how to do things or something? what the fuck is it??? why do i feel like the worst guy alive for a choice you made?? i have nothing to do with your decision, other than the fact that i'm the target of your frustration. what is it? why? why?
nevermind, i need to stop fucking talking. i sound like a pussy i know. but you should've always been mine and i should've always had you and i don't. know. why. it's. not. like. that. yeah, it's just how life works, isn't it. ISN'T IT. WHY THOUGH?!
haven't we done the same things??? everything i've done you've done too. it's useless pointing it all out for me if you're not going to do that for yourself. so why do i feel like i've done like, ten times worse? why. WHY. if anything i should feel like i'm BETTER than you because i'm so much fucking better than you and i should know this but for some reason i don't.
whatever. fuck you fuck your dad fuck your friends and my friends and fuck MYSELF. until i figure out what i did wrong i am not going to stop hating the world and everything else. everything feels like poison now and i don't know why i shouldn't practically be chugging it at this point. this is how shit works i guess. fuck.